#yes #yesyesyes #important
Yes, I have heard of an outlier. I was fortunate enough to receive a high school education in mathematics, which got me fairly well-acquainted with the concept of outliers, multiplication, basic fractions, and Pythagoras’ bloody Theorem, among other things.
Now, please allow me to ask you a question:
Do you realise what you have just said?
It’s not a trick question, by the way. I am legitimately, apprehensively curious as to whether or not you realise exactly what it is you are suggesting to me.
Did you know there are approximately seven billion people alive in this world right now? Approximately 7,255,000,000, and counting, in fact.
And since you’re interested in maths, do you know what 1% of that number is?
But that was an easy one. Do you know what 2% of that number is?
Of course you do. It’s 145,100,000.
And do you realise what you have just said?
Would you like to know some other interesting statistics? I’m sure you would have answered yes, because you are a curious mind. Let’s talk about countries.
Did you know that Japan, Vietnam, Seychelles, Greenland, Germany, Australia, Palestine, Mexico, the United Kingdom, the Czech Republic, Switzerland, Afghanistan, South Korea, and France each have populations under 145,100,000 as of the most recent records.
Entire countries with fewer than 145,100,000 inhabitants.
Did you know that, in fact, only nine countries have over 145,100,000 inhabitants? In order, those countries are China, India, the United States, Indonesia, Brazil, Pakistan, Nigeria, Bangladesh, and Russia.
And so I will ask one more time, for emphasis:
Do you realise what you have just said to me?
I’m sure you know - being so well-versed in mathematics as you are - what happens to outliers. If nothing else, our dear friend Spiders Georg should have shown you what usually happens to outliers.
They do not get counted. They get ignored. They get deleted.
What you have just said to me is this:
Approximately 145,100,000 people do not count to you. You do not respect them. You do not acknowledge them. You do not care about them. You see them as numbers. You see them as things, not people. You see them as less than yourself.
I find that suggestion disturbing and repulsive in ways I can scarcely put into words, and frankly, I feel that same repulsion about you by association. What you have said to me is nothing short of disgusting and inhuman. I am so disappointed in you.
However, you are quite right about me only citing a specifically intersex-oriented website. To be honest, that was because it was an easily accessible, informative read for people on the topic of physiological variation, to prove my point on there variation in the first place, and my thinking was that if people were curious and wanted to learn more about the fantastic spectrum of human existence, they were clever enough to, say, research it for themselves. To use the Google, as the kids these days call it. Perhaps that was a mistake on my part. Perhaps I shouldn’t have assumed that level of independent learning ability.
Seeing that you mentioned it, I assume you have looked into Klinefelter syndrome and ‘ambiguous genitalia’, and I therefore have absolutely no idea why you’re “perturbed” about this.
The purpose of that post I made was to show that sexual morphology is not as simple as ‘male’ or ‘female’, and neither is it as simple as ‘penis’ or ‘vagina’. Gender is a spectrum, and so is sexual morphology.
This may or may not come as a surprise to you, depending on whether or not you’ve actually seen other people’s junk, but almost no-one has the same junk as someone else. There is no factory where the Perfect Standard Junk gets made; there is no perfect standard junk. Even for people who are not considered ‘ambiguous’ or intersex, there is a lot of physical variation in every way you can think of, pretty much.
And it’s all okay. That’s the point of this.
People should never be shamed for their bodies. They should not be excluded or discriminated against or harmed or in any way made to feel lesser because their body is a bit different from yours. Like, for goodness’ sake. You shouldn’t need for someone to tell you that.
And yet, here you are, telling me that 145,100,000 people are outliers.
Well, you know what? As far as I’m concerned, that’s 145,100,000 reasons to care about this.
So it’s time to change your tune or go far, far, far away, you unbelievable wally. It’s your choice now.
I came upon Jesus in a reoccurring dream.
He always says he loves my mouth, but hates
The way it tastes
When his holy tongue laps over mine.
His arms are always open despite this.
His arms are always enfolding upon everyone but me.
I still get jealous when I see them touching.
I still get jealous when he does not kiss me back.
In the dream, everyone speaks in tongues but me.
Suddenly, my mouth is the only foreign language.
Suddenly, my mouth becomes the Red Sea,
And I beg for him to split me open.
He never really speaks, but everyone can understand.
We don’t blame him for the silence.
We don’t blame him for when he finds our bad parts.
We don’t blame him for taking advantage.
Last time, it was raining, streets were soaked
With his mother’s own tears.
Last time, it was raining and he kissed me
Open mouth again.
There should be a word for this;
I am even sinning in my dreams.
But he never hangs the blame on me,
He just teaches me to bleed without completely dying.
I check my Facebook page 36 times a day for the sole purpose of making sure I have not accidentally posted a nude photo of myself
I reread an email 13 times before pressing send to ensure I have not written something in the email that could convict me of a crime
Before taking a stage when asked if I allow flash photography I always want to say “No” because I’m terrified flash photography will give me epilepsy
I know it doesn’t work like that, still
I never eat nuts on an airplane out of fear of that I will suddenly develop a nut allergy and if I have to asphyxiate I don’t want it to happen at 30,000 feet
Twice in the last two years I’ve been aborted from an airplane for running screaming down the aisles as the plane was taking off
I can’t walk through San Francisco without worrying my indigestion is the beginning of an earthquake
I brace for tsunamis beside lakes in Colorado
I’m not joking
The last time I saw Niagara Falls I couldn’t take it
It was too much much
I had to plug my ears to look at it and close my eyes to listen
Generally I can’t do all my senses at the same time they are too much much
Like if you touch me without warning, whoever you are, it will take everything I have to not hate you
Imagine your hands are electrical sockets and I am constantly aware that I am 70% water
it’s not that I’ve not tried to build a dam
Ask my therapist who pays her mortgage
My cost of living went up
at five years old when I told my mother I have to stop going to birthday parties because every time I hear a balloon pop I feel like I’m gonna get murdered in the heart
Last year a balloon popped on the stage where I was performing, I started crying in front of the whole crowd
plugged my ears and kept repeating the word “LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD” it was super sexy
That’s what I do
I do super sexy
Like when I asked the super cute barista 11 times ‘are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure this is decaffeinated? Are you sure that’- yes I drink decaffeinated and still jitter like a bug running from the bright bright bright
I have spent years of my life wearing a tight rubber band hidden beneath my hair so my brain could have a hug
These days when no one’s looking I wear a fuzzy fitted winter hat that buttons tight beneath the chin
I only ever wear a tie so that when I convince myself I’m choking my senses have something they are certain they can blame
As a kid I was so certain I would die the way of meteor falling on my head
I would go whole weeks without looking at the sky ‘cause I didn’t want to witness the coming of my own death
I started tapping the kitchen sink seven times to build a shield
My mother started making lists of everything I thought would kill me in hopes that if I saw my fears they would disappear
Bless her heart but the first time I saw that list I started filling a salad bowl with bleach and soaking my shoe laces overnight so in the morning when I ironed them they would be so bright I would be certain I had control over
how much dark could break into my light
how much jack hammer could break into my heart
My spine it has always been a lasso that could never catch my breath
I honestly can’t imagine how it would feel to walk into a room full of people and not feel the roof collapsing on my ‘NO NO NO I am not fine’
Fine is the suckiest word
it never tells the truth
And more than anything I have ever been afraid of I am terrified of lies
How they war the world
How they sound by our tongues
How they bone dry the marrow
How did we get through high school without being taught Dr. King spent two decades having panic attacks?
Jumped at thunder
I think we are all part flight the fight
part run for your life
Part ‘please please please like me’
Part Can’t breathe
Part scared to say you’re scared
Part say it anyway
You panic button collector
You clock of beautiful ticks
You run out the door if you need to
You flock to the front row of your own class
You feather everything until you know you can always, always shake like a leaf on my family tree and know you belong here
You belong here and everything you feel is okay
Everything you feel is okay